Star!

...day gave way to night.

there was no moon tonight.

mounds of sand surrounded him on every side.

the traveler stopped and wondered where to go.

in the day the traveler was guided by the sun.

he could judge east from west.

he know his destination lay southward.

he had no idea how far or how near.

darkness had led to respite from the heat.

he had gotten rid of his shirt when the sun was at its peak.

he was wearing loose pants and slippers.

the cold was making him shiver - his hair was standing at its end.

it had been more than 12 hours without water.

or food. or the sight of another human being.

or animal. or plant.

he fed off his thoughts and drank from his tears of regret.

he had no memory of how he got to the desert.

he was happy being the king of his realm.

he slept after a night of mirth and revelry.

only to wake up somewhere among sand dunes.

he thought of sleeping and waiting for the sun.

it was hard to walk in the day.

the sun was sucking his energy.

and perspiration was dimming his reflexes.

he started climbing the highest dune he could see.

it was a long and tough ascent.

with each step the peak seemed further.

he began wondering if he would ever get to the top.

after what seemed like eternity he scaled the mound.

after what seemed like forever he sat on the sand.

a cold wind blew from behind - chilling his spine.

he knew it to be the north wind - icy and deathly.

he had hoped to climb atop this dune and see light. a city. trees.

something. anything.

his hopes lay shattered spread among the grains of sand beneath him.

he could sense disappointment falling upon him.

he thought of his beloved.

he thought of her deep eyes - they were always lit up with hope.

he thought of her infectious smile - always ready to wrap the world in joy.

he thought of her gorgeous hair - a warm safe place where he could find sanctuary.

tears welled up in his eyes.

he hadn't seen his reflection in her eyes in days.

he hadn't felt the warmth of her smile in weeks.

he hadn't smelt her hair in eons.

suddenly he saw a speck of light

a lone star appeared in the sky.

shining bright.

shining with all its glory.

he found his guiding light - the star of the south!

the star twinkled like the eyes of his beloved - he could see his whole life in its light.

the star spread warmth to his very heart - he could not feel the cold north wind anymore.

the star reminded him of the hair of his beloved - he found peace and serenity.

he realized that the star would lead him southwards.

he would be led by its guiding light and would find his way home.

he set off on the long and arduous journey.

hoping to cover a lot of ground before the sun shone again.

he started reminiscing as he walked.

he remembered times with his beloved.

he smiled at the moments of love they had lived through.

he shed tears thinking of unhappy moments they had spent together.

he realized he wasn't as good as his beloved was in every sense.

he realized that she was a good partner - while he was actually an ingrate.

he realized that she was holding their relationship together - while he was just breaking it down.

he saw her face smiling at him in the light of the star - she still loved him.

after what seemed like days of walking, he saw his destination!

looming far in the distance - he could see shapes -lights - structures.

he rejoiced - he had a chance to make it up to his beloved.

he trudged on - an extra spring in his step.

as he came closer, his expressions changed.

the structures he could see were dark looming towers.

shrouded in the mist of darkness and gloom.

dark structures that spelt doom.

a few steps more, his face fell.

there were no lights.

there were columns of fire - rising high above the earth.

from pools of lava that surrounded the towers.

this wasn't his destination!

the lone star was not leading him home!

it was leading him to hell!

he had died and was never going to get home!

he thought of his life.

he thought of his choices.

he thought of his mistakes.

he thought of his beloved.

he wished he could see her once again.

touch her. hold her. kiss her. caress her.

he wished he could die looking into her eyes.

under the warmth of her smile - the smell of her hair.

remorseful and weary, he approached the gates of hell.

with the heat of the fire, his sweat began to swell.

the ground gave way - he suddenly fell.

and found himself at the bottom of a deep fiery well.

his skin burnt to dust.

his bones burnt to dust.

his heart burnt to ashes.

his soul left his body. 

as his soul began its ascent towards its final destination.

his soul could only think of his beloved.

as the soul dissipated into the air, it had a final thought..

"will my beloved ever think of me?"

One Last Time...

She turned the key in the lock, with all her might.
Her wrist hurt every time she did it.
"God! Why din’t he just get the damn lock fixed!" she said out aloud.

She pushed the door open and walked into her house.

She saw the washroom light on.
"Was he home?"

She dumped her bag and her jacket onto the carpeted floor and ran into the washroom expecting to see him there.
She walked out dejected. Of course he wasn’t there.

She got a bottle of wine out of the fridge and poured herself a glass.

There was a hint of rain in the evening sky.
It was windy outside. Just the way he liked it.

She took her glass of wine onto the terrace and sat on the easy chair.
A tear trickled down her cheek.

She remembered the last time it rained that year...

They had had a severe fight the morning before.
She had left the house in a huff and told him she would never come back.

He had spent that day trying her cell.
She never picked up.
He left her several voice messages.
She never replied.
He din't sleep a wink that night.

She finally called him back the next morning.
"Where were you honey?"
"Somewhere..."
"Honey please come home."
"Why? Why do you care?"
"Honey let me make it up to you. One last time..."
"It's always the last time isn't it?"
"It is the last time, this time. I promise."

When she came home that evening, she found he had cooked for her.
Her favorite crockery was laid out on the table.
A bottle of champagne loaded in the chiller.
Fresh Red Carnations in the vase.
Scented candles lit them room ever so softly.
He had left the window open. The breeze flirted with the silk white sheers.

As she surveyed the scene with a smile on her face, he enveloped her from behind.
He took a deep whiff of her hair they way he always did.
He kissed her left cheek with all his love.

Her smile deepened. She turned and hugged him tight.

After a delectable chicken dinner, he popped the champagne and poured out two glasses.
They took their bubbly to the terrace and cozied up on the easy chairs.

As she sipped her drink, he got something out of his pocket. It was a small box.
His lips curled into his unconventional smile as he handed her the box.

She opened it to find a ring.
Glistening in the moonlight, it was the prettiest thing ever.
He looked into her eyes and said, "Will you marry me… again?"

A tear trickled down her cheek.
She smiled and said, "Yes Silly."

They kissed passionately.

The skies burst open and rain started to fall down in torrents.

They sat right on the verandah, kissing in the rain.
She could still taste him from that last kiss. She loved how he tasted.

He took her inside and got her to change her soaked clothes.

While she was drying her hair, she heard her favorite song playing on the stereo.

He came up to her and asked her to dance with him.
"But you hate to dance!" she said with alarm in her voice.
"Let me try one last time. For you," he said, pretending to take his hat off and bowing before her.

They danced close together.
She was pleasantly surprised that evening.

They ended up in bed soon after.

After making the best love ever, they lay on the bed.

She could hear his heart thumping in his chest.
She placed her hand on his chest and looked at him imploringly.
He just smiled and held her hand tight against his body.

"I'm sorry I went away," she said.
"It's ok. I will never fight again. This was my last time."
"I love you," she said.
"You better…" was all he could manage.

His head fell back into the pillow.
His heart had given way.
His body was right next to hers.
His soul had left hers far behind.

A loud thunderclap brought her back to reality.
She couldn’t believe he wasn’t there with her anymore.

There was no one to fix the leaks. And that damn broken lock.
There was no one to hug when she came home from work every evening.
There was no one to fight with and no one to make up after.

She wished she could fight with him... one last time.

200*

Today (24th Feb, 10) is the best day of my (hitherto) life.

Well, let me explain. Im an Indian. Cricket is my religion. And I witnessed a miracle today - a miracle I have been looking forward to for the last 13 years!!

Sachin Tendulkar has been a God for me for a greater part of his 20 year cricket career. And (like millions of his fans), I feel I have a special connection with him.

I clearly remember his swashbuckling 20th century against Australia on my birthday, way back in 1998. Never got a better present! And the time when I witnessed his century in person at the Eden Gardens (again in 98). It may have been against Kenya, but a century it was nonetheless.

Ever since Saeed Anwar scored a 194 against us, Ive been waiting for him to be outdone by Sachin. Everytime Sachin would cross 150, I would be sitting on m seat's edge - praying.

Today the lord answered my prayers. He did it. In style.

Teary eyed, I watched as he did it. What a feeling. What a story to tell my children! I saw Sachin Tendulkar prove his divinity for the umpteenth time.

Dude... God... Stud... Thanks for making this the best day of my life!

Bolt from the Flu...

Before leaving Costa Rica for India, I decided to take my doctor dearest (the one who nursed me back to health from the throes of a super potent influenza attack) for a drink.

Doctor Danilo and I met at one of my favourite pubs - Misala - located at the Centro commercial de Pako in Escazu.
It was a rainy evening and I sat there enjoying my "Jack con Coca" while the doctor settled for a cup of Chilean White Wine.
As we sat discussing my medical situation and that of Costa Rica in general, Doctor Danilo mentioned the fact that Costa Rica had reported only 4 cases of H1N1 till date.

Now, thank god for the fact that my genetic code has blessed me with an extremely sharp memory - my brain flew back in time to the scene where I was lying on my hospital bed for the second consecutive day and I saw the scene as if it were happening all over again.
Doctor Danilo sauntered into my room for a casual check-up and he happened to think aloud: "I think you caught the H1N1 at this hospital itself. Last week, there were three cases and the third one, an obese woman who was also suffering from diabetes, died right here."

So, while he had spoken of three cases way back in time, he now he mentioned that only 4 were hitherto reported by Costa Rica to WHO.

Either I was the luckiest person alive to know the one doctor who treated 3 out of the 4 known cases of H1N1 in CR - or my genetic code had come crashing down and my memory had been reduced to a combination of dust, ashes and fumes!

My curiosity did not let me rest. On pestering Doctor Danilo, he came out with the shocking truth!

Costa Rica, like any other country, was trying to desperately underplay the actual extent to which the H1N1 had managed to penetrate its population of 4.5 million. As a matter of international pride (and in order to save the ass of it's tourism sector - given that it receives 2 million tourists per annum) the Costa Rican health department had decided to overlook H1N1 cases where the patient survives and report only those where there was a death!

Furthermore, he actually went ahead to tell me that I, as a matter of fact, was suffering from an acute case of H1N1 and not just any ordinary flu! My reports indicated a very high degree of infection and the fact that I was cured by Tamiflu and other intra-venous antibiotics, led the Health Department to issue a second report which read as follows:

Samir Kapur.
H1N1: Negative!

So here I was - I had fought the H1N1 and survived it without ever knowing it - nursing a Jack and Coke in my right hand - sweating profusely despite the cold rainy weather.

My life flashed before my eyes...

He loved Sonia...

“Get a perspective. It’s just a break-up,” said Sonia, in a stern tone.

These words reverberated against his ear-drum for the next few seconds.
“I will,” he reacted.

“Beep.... “
He had hung up.

-Masterpiece in Progress-
:)

Phew! Close Shave

Just got the good news today - H1 No1! :)

Thank god for that - the heart beat issues still need to be solved - doctors here think im going to have a collapsed heart given the kind of stress im taking.

The fever had my heart beating at phenomenol rates (it has clocked 182/lossa numbers between 150-180 for days/130-150 for the last three days/and now I dunno!)

This wasnt something I was looking forward too!

But thank god them pigs dint fly around me :)

H1N1/Samir Kapur 08/11/83

Thats what my wrist tag says!!
[Read H1N1 as "aache uno enne uno"]

Ive been admitted into what is probably the best hospital in Costa Rica.

Been here since Sunday morning - They suspect H1N1 : Im showing all symptoms! Yay!!

All tests have been conducted and now we anxiously/painstakingly await the results!

Keep logging in...!
If the test's negative: you get a lot of amusing incidences often involving abusive references to random things/people/places.
If the test's positive and I survive: you get some great anecdotes with as much gusto as I can manage.
If the test's positive and I dont survive: I love you too!

It feels so good to get my hands on my laptop after 2 1/2 days, I just dont feel like giving it back to mom.

But, shes the boss! Ciao!

Howzzat!

Given that the stone is finally "OUT," the Cricket lover in me could not think of a better remark than "Howzzat!"

The 6mm (in length) Mofo came out the natural way!

"Clink!!" went the stone against the waste paper basket - never have I been happier to hear a Clink before.

A shard of pure Calcium Oxalate - Crystalline in texture, jagged edges, shiny particles - a thing of beauty!

Seems I have to reduce my milk intake. People who know me well know that this is probably the biggest blow nature could have dealt to me!

Showed the stone to the doc - he was surprised I pee'd something that big out.

"Well what do I say doc, I'm a stud where it matters!"

The Fireworks...

The doctor gave me some news which horrified me...

The bigger of the multiple kidney stones has reached within the pelvis and has only one way out of there: Surgically.
I would have to undergo my 1st surgery ever! 45 minutes of gruelling hell and all for one teeny weeny tiny little calcified stone - 5mm in diametre!
What freaks me out totally is the fact that he aint talking about laproscopy! Hes talking about a traditional surgery...
Now for people who have even 3.24% knowledge of Biology - the method is scary, intrusive, anti gravity and of course totally against nature's will...

I'm only praying I can avoid this as of now - somehow. Anyhow.

Costa Rica is known to be a medical haven for citizens of the USA - providing facilities at par with what's available in the States and at only 60% of the costs.
I'd however never thought I'd have to expereience their low cost expertise first hand!

This trip has had me seeing more of hospitals than anything else (Well thank god the hospitals here look like freaking Taj Bengal).
Iv been jabbed with needles atleast 15 times in the last week.
And the last needle to go into me boasted a diametre comparable to that obtained by sticking 6 cylinderical toothpicks together, along their lengths!
And this baby stayed inside me for a cool 40 minutes... probably the only one lucky to get the chance for this lifetime (pun totally intended).

"Pura Vida" as they say down here in Costa Rica.
Pure Life Truly :)

My First Diwali - Alone

Ive spent my last few Diwalis away from home - but this year is probably the worst one so far: This time Im alone... and unwell.

Ridden with multiple Kidney Stones, Bad Skin rashes (on account of numerous jabs with needles so as to get saline drips into the required blood vessels) and of course the back ache (mainly due to mental and physical stress)

As I prepare to spend my Diwali morning at the hospital, getting tested for god knows what now, my spirit however is not as down and out as it should be.

Thank god for that Diwali spirit which is keeping me going. I wonder if it's all in the mind - or if the spirit of Diwali is something real and alive.

God, on this Diwali, I pray you give me enough physical strength to buy Diyas (or Tea Candles or whatever else I can find here) and light my house up!

Miss you ma, pa.
Would have been great to see home - warm with light and love :)
And the fooooood! Oho!

Wish you all a very Happy Diwali!!